Emotional & Social Issues
Your Emotions
A diagnosis of cancer is never an easy thing to face. While everyone handles such an event in their own way, many people find that building a support network can be a great help. A support network gives you a place to talk about your fears, your concerns, and the decisions you need to make.
You may have one close friend or family member who can serve as your sounding board. Or you may want to reach beyond your loved ones and talk with others who have dealt with some of these issues in their own lives. Ask your doctor, nurse, or social worker for referral to a local support group, or call local or national organizations for referrals. Also check out some of the online support groups listed in Resources. And don't be afraid to seek professional counseling.
Your partner, your children, or other family members may need some emotional help too. Explore support groups or counseling for them as well.
Friends and Family
Your friends, family, and co-workers naturally will be concerned about you as you progress through treatment. Many will want to help.
Here are a few tips for managing these relationships at such a stressful time.
- You may want to ask one person to be your primary caregiver and advocate. This often is a spouse, but it can also be a sibling, parent, or friend. It can be very helpful to have one person who goes with you to appointments, keeps track of treatments, and can talk to doctors on your behalf, if you so choose. Discuss this role with the person and find out what each of you is comfortable with. How much input do you want? How much is the other person comfortable with?
- The people who care about you will want to know how you are doing. But don't feel obligated to answer the phone every time it rings. Take care of yourself. If you are not up to talking on the phone or having visitors, appoint one family member chief information officer. Leave a message on your answering machine explaining that you are very happy to hear everyone's good wishes and you will contact them just as soon as you are feeling better. Make use of e-mail.
- Accept help from people. Allow people to help with tasks such as cooking meals, mowing the lawn, shopping, or cleaning your home. It might help both you and them to feel better.
Sexuality
Sexuality encompasses many aspects of our lives, including our self-image, our relationship with a partner, our ability to experience sensual feelings, and our reproductive capacity.
Treatment for leukemia can affect your sexuality both physically and emotionally. In women, chemotherapy treatments can cause temporary or permanent changes in ovaries and hormone levels, leading to premature menopause, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and other problems. Some drugs can irritate the lining of the vagina and reduce the size of the vagina, making intercourse painful. In men, some drugs can cause drops in testosterone levels, resulting in a diminished sex drive or erection problems. Other side effects of treatment, such as nausea, may lower the desire for sexual intimacy. Radiation therapy does not cause hormonal disruptions, but it can leave the skin somewhat swollen and tender. It can also cause fatigue.
With all of these possible changes, it is quite likely that your sexual relationship with your partner will change. Give yourself and your partner time to adjust. Explore new ways to share intimacy, or just focus on cuddling and feeling close for now.
However, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your doctor or nurse about the potential side effects of your treatment and what can be done to avoid them or treat them. If they are not familiar with this issue, ask for a referral to a specialist or a program at a medical center.
If you are not currently in a serious relationship, think about when you want to tell dates about your experience with cancer. It's not something that every date needs to know right away, but it's not something that you need to hide either. It's up to you when you want to bring up the subject.
